Theatre Articles- The Life of John Thaw
from Daphne Guiness

It took John Thaw years to accept fame. Then he died. A report on a favourite TV face

Actress Sheila Hancock has written an emotional tell-all memoir about her late husband John Thaw, the actor. Why? "Because I didn't want some sensational-seeker to do it and turn him into an utter arsehole," she says from her home in London. Off screen, the introvert Inspector Morse of television glory was not the man his fans may have pictured. That, says his widow, is exactly why she wrote The Two Of Us: My Life with John Thaw (Allen & Unwin). "I don't want people to think he was Morse. I want them to know the real man was more entertaining, more funny, more cynical, more sad, more angry than anything they had ever seen on the screen.".

Also he was more scary, more frightening, more boorish, more ghastly and definitely more moody. Further bad news: he was an alcoholic depressive who was viciously cruel to Hancock and their daughter Joanna, and Abigail (by his first marriage to wealthy Sally Alexander) and Melanie by Hancock's marriage to actor Alec Ross (who coincidentally died with cancer of the oesophagus, as did Thaw in 2002). "They are all sisters," says Hancock of the complicated family tree. Did she discuss the book with them? "Of course I did. Their first reaction was I'd been too easy on John in his dark days; they made me rewrite it because I'd soft-pedalled. Their argument was his recovery wasn't as miraculous if you didn't realise he had actually gone down to rock bottom. If I made him just a gentle drunk who took the odd drink, then what was the fuss all about?"

Hancock and Thaw had a roller-coaster marriage and fuss came in buckets. They met working on a London comedy, Hancock, 36, still married, Thaw, 27, divorced. "I'm afraid I've fallen in love with you, it's a nuisance," he told her. But not until Ross died did they tie the knot in 1973.

In three years he went from bachelor and odd bits on telly to husband/father/two homes/three children and, with roles like Regan in The Sweeney, then Inspector Morse, worldwide renown, which he detested: "Autograph hunters were told to 'f--- off'." Terrified of reverting to childhood poverty, he became a workaholic. "No wonder he needed a few drinks to help him," says Hancock. Surely she suspected something was amiss? "No, I've lived with drinkers all my life. My father and first husband drank and I thought men did that. Anyway, it hadn't become an illness then."

But when it did in 1985, while playing a father whose son is killed by the IRA, depression and booze crossed paths and Thaw turned into a monster. Still, "viciously cruel" to her and the girls seems excessive. What precisely did he do? "I don't want to pursue that further," she says edgily. "I'd have put it in the book if I intended to elaborate on it." But she does elaborate on Thaw as Jekyll and Hyde, and rows ending with her cravenly apologising. It was sick behaviour on her part, she says, baring herself excruciatingly. "That statement is there in the hope that anybody going through this will think, 'well, maybe it's not normal', and get help.". And when they read about the violent behaviour, that will help, too? "Yes. John was never physically violent. It was mental. The theory is when people vent their hatred on others it's actually hatred of themselves they are venting.". At one point she says: "Sometimes his face contorted into a mask of pure loathing towards me." Why? "It's all part of the same illness." Somehow it's hard to imagine Morse's congenial kisser doing that. "Well, there you are."

Still, as Hancock says, this was only one episode in 29 years with Thaw. At one stage she discovered she had breast cancer.Thaw turned his back on her, they lived apart for 18 months, she suggested divorce which jolted him into a booze-and-depression cure by a Harley Street Irishman. They had fun and laughter for five years.

Christmas 2000 was the best of times. In May 2001, Thaw got his fellowship from the British Academy of Film and Television Arts. In June, cancer. Seven months later he died